Simple Secret #2: Question Your Stressful Thoughts
This series began with a simple self assessment, and in the last blog post, we explored how neutrally witnessing the internal landscape of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and feelings lays the framework for a totally different life. Now that we understand the power of neutral observation, it’s time to learn from Simple Secret #2.
Simple Secret #2:
Question Your Stressful Thoughts
Do you believe all of your thoughts to be absolutely true?
That is a normal, conditioned experience, but there is a way through. From Socrates, to the yoga sutras of Patanjali, to Buddha and Zen philosophers, Jesus, and modern day spiritual teachers, sages throughout the ages all understood the cause of suffering and the way out of suffering. They understood the connection between suffering and how we use our faculty of mind:
If we believe everything we think and are attached to our thoughts and beliefs, we suffer.
If we question our thoughts and beliefs, we don't suffer.
Every experience is colored by our perception. Our brain selectively processes a small portion of the vast amount of data available to us. What we process passes through subconscious filters that determine what we take in and what we leave out. These filters determine how we interpret and experience life.
Thoughts that we think repeatedly over time, become deep seated, programmed beliefs. Likewise, our subconscious level of awareness is constantly recording and storing all of our memories, beliefs, traumas and upsets. Everything in our environment is potentially programming and conditioning our subconscious all the time, and always has been. This can be limiting or empowering. Either way, what resides in the depths of our subconscious becomes those filters that influence how we see and interpret the world.
Like a camera lens, these filters can limit, color, or distort what we are aware of.
Thus, every thought, idea, belief is colored by what we think we know, rather than what could actually be known.
“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”
Every time we believe a stressful thought - anything that goes against what our true nature is - we experience suffering instead of happiness and wellbeing.
The challenge is, we live in a society addicted to logic. Logic is a faculty of our surface conscious mind, comprising 10% or less of our total mind capacity. And often, we're attached to certainty and a desire to know the unknowable. And we want concrete logical answers and certainty now!
This desire for immediate knowing can cause us to jump to answers and/or actions too soon. This can lead us to living our lives based what we think should be done (conditioning and programming) instead of sitting with questions longer, tuning into our heart and intuition, and moving from there when the time is right.
Our heart and intuition can take us to beautiful places that logic could never dare to go.
“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”
We can't know the unknowable. It's not possible until it's time. But we will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it. When we attempt imposing limits on the inherent wisdom of the universe and our co-creation with the Divine, we're pushing the River of Suffering and stopping the flow. Therein lies struggle and suffering.
Whereas, when we sit with the questions longer, we relax into the flow of the River of Mystery with open-hearted trust and the river flows freely. Here we experience limitless resourcefulness, wisdom, and grace.
The River of Mystery opens us up to our own inner wisdom. It involves an inner exploration and self-inquiry process of questioning our thoughts and beliefs. Inquiring within is in loving the questions more than the answers.
Some Benefits to Questioning Your Stressful Thoughts Through Self-Inquiry:
It clears our perception - our lens gets repaired and cleaned off.
It helps to pull our projections in.
It helps to reframe a situation, and the ability to reframe can transform suffering into happiness.
It brings old, conditioned patterns and subconscious programming up to the surface. Once we see these patterns, we get to choose and make modifications.
When we reprogram, the brain creates new neural networks and pathways. Eventually we are less triggered and more calm and relaxed because this effects our nervous system in beneficial ways.
Curious self-inquiry is the epitome of a growth mindset (vs. fixed mindset). Being open to growth brings incredible opportunities for expansion, improvement, and successful wellbeing.
We're happier. Happiness comes more from how we do what we do, not necessarily what we do. People with strong happiness skills don't predominantly derive their happiness from external events. They can still be happy in challenging times because they have agency over their inner experience. They can shift their inner world and refine their self-expression.
It keeps life interesting - we learn something new every day!
We get closer to truth.
“People try so hard to let go of their negative behaviors and thoughts, and it doesn’t work, or it works only for a short time. I didn’t let go of my negative thoughts; I questioned them, and then they let go of me, and so did my addictions and depression.”
How To Apply It
In addition to my individual one-on-one work, I love The Work of Byron Katie. It’s a simple four question self-inquiry process. She is a potent resource that has many free online resources.
Stressful thoughts and beliefs are not in alignment with our true nature. Choosing to ask all the important questions and love the questions more than the answers creates space. The peace within arises from that freedom to shift our inner world. Your true nature is always available to you.
“When you behold the entire universe as a play of consciousness, what is there to do but smile.”
See you soon for Simple Secret #3!
Warm Rays of Blessings From My Heart to Yours,
Lisa